Today I had a 3 month check up with the breast surgeon. I did not have a baby sitter, so my 3 year old had the pleasure of escorting me to the doctor. Fortunately, the doctor is a nice doctor, with children of her own and a constant smile on her face. Not the typical image you would picture for a surgeon, she is more of 'Teddy' from Grey's Anatomy. Anyhow, Lily and I are sitting in the examining room waiting patiently when she knocks on the door... she walks in wearing a very beautiful sweater...covered in giraffe print. It was perfect. I wanted to say something to her about how giraffes remind me of my son, but I refrained... kept the moment all to myself. She makes small talk with Lily about how she couldn't possibly be 3 because she is much too tall... and then looks at me and says 'so your pregnant...is that a good thing?' My response... 'I hope so. But I am really nervous considering my last child was stillborn.' She tells me that she is sorry, and then proceeds to ask Lily if she would like a new baby in the house? Liliana responds with 'YES! My mommy has a baby in her tummy, and I am going to have a little sister!' (mind you, we still haven't actually told Liliana this, she is just very perceptive and has figured it out on her own) The doctor proceeds... well what if you have a little brother instead, are you going to throw him out? To which she responds, I already have a little brother, he is in heaven. I'm going to have a little sister! (angry voice)
Anyhow... good news is... with the growing of the breast tissue due to pregnancy, the cyst can no longer be felt...so the doctor believes I am in the clear. Go back again in one year, when I should be breast feeding for a follow up ultrasound. The look on my daughters face when the doctor was doing a thorough breast exam was priceless. As if to say, Who the heck is this woman and WHY is she squeezing mommies boobs like that!!?? Stop it lady!
In other news... one week from yesterday is the anniversary of when Sebastion died. One week from tomorrow is his first birthday. Sigh. How has an entire year passed since I held him in my arms?! And who the fuck is the person that says time heals all wounds?! I miss him deeply and would do anything for circumstances to be different.
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