A first glimpse...

I feel bit of relief for the first time in the past 3 weeks.  Today's appointment went as well as can be expected.  Pap, pelvic, many many questions, 9 viles of blood drawn, external and internal ultrasound... whew... it was a long morning!!  But, so far, so good:)

Here is the first picture of our little rainbow bean  (and YES!  there is only one in there!)

Words can not express the joy in my heart when I caught a glimpse of the babies heart beating!  The ultrasound tech (the same tech that I had with Sebastions final living ultrasound, and also the same girl who had the unpleasant task of the internal ultrasound after loss) was training a new tech.  The new girl asked the standard questions: How many pregnancies does this make for you?  3.  How many live pregnancies? 1.  How far along was your miscarriage? Nearly 22 weeks.  He was stillborn, nearly One year ago.  The familiar, friendly tech spoke up:  WOW!  Really?  It seems like just yesterday!  I'm sorry sweetie.   It was nice that she remembered.  As she was watching the monitor she  kept  stating 'oh my...it's soo cute!  such a tiny little baby!' as he or she was wiggling around. 

I've never known that it was possible to feel so much joy and sorrow all at the same time. 
Please pray for us, and for our Rainbow!   And may Sebastion continue to be a guardian angel, as he becomes a big brother.