Sorry to my followers...I am bad at updates:(  This photo was taken at least a week ago, so rougly 14 - 14 1/2 weeks along....and I think one of my favorite pregnancy photos I have to date... of all 3 pregnancies.  Today makes 15 weeks, 5 days.  and I  am beginning to feel discouraged in the fact that I haven't felt much movement.  I started feeling flutters around 12 weeks. I would feel little taps about every few days...but now... Nothing.  With Sebastion I was feeling movement quite a bit at this point...or at least I think I was.. Perhaps my memory has failed me... likely due to lack of sleep.  Aye Aye.... sleep is NOT over rated.  I need more.  I can not get enough... yet I barely get any at all.  Once I fall asleep I wake nearly every half hour due to back pain... or a dog in my face... or a bladder that needs emptied.  Any suggestions for a better nights rest?

OH..... boy?

Wow!

We sure have a bouncy baby in there!!  Today's ultrasound went rather well... heart rate in the 140's and baby is weighing in at 3 oz... which according to the little ticker over there to the right... is double the norm? 

A bit bittersweet as the ultrasound tech we had today was the same tech who had the misfortune of doing the scan that showed Sebastion had died.  I think she may have been a bit nervous as she started out incredibly fast with measurements.  As she calmed down she asked if we were going to find out the sex to which Derek immediately responded..."It's a girl!"  I giggled and she asked me if I had any feelings on the matter... to which I replied... "It changes about every week."  She then proceeded chasing the baby around with the wand because it moved around so much... Hyper active, already:)

So with out further ado.... here are some photos:

 I am so in love with that little face already :)

 I have a couple more to post but for some reason they will only load sideways:(  Oh well... here is the important one:

So, as of right now... it looks like D's prediction was off this time.  2 out of 3 ain't bad though, right?
I realize it is still too early to know FOR sure...but it looks rather promising at the moment that a little boy is in our future.  Lily and Sebastion will have a little brother:)  My heart melts.  And the level 2 ultrasound in October should confirm it.

OH boy!!  Indeed.

almost 13 weeks...

D was finally able to make it to an appointment with me yesterday, it was nice to have him there, and for him to be able to her the babies heart beat, which once again, took no trouble to locate... With Sebastion there were times when it would take up to 10 minutes to locate the sound of his heart, and each time I would feel that impending doom while waiting... I remember once it took so long that I began to cry JUST before we heard it, and then cried even harder once the sound filled the room.
Doc seems to be confident that this will be a 'normal' pregnancy, and that losing Sebastion was really just a string of 'bad luck'.  *GASP*  I'm sorry, but I do not call the death of a child BAD LUCK.  Grrr... I like my doctor, don't get me wrong, but He was not quite himself yesterday... he seemed to have forgotten my history.  If you want to call something 'bad luck' I think it would be the fact that he has been my doctor for 3 pregnancies now, and has yet to actually deliver one of my children.  When Liliana was born, it was Sunday, and she was delivered by the on call doctor.  With Sebastion... my doc just so happened to be on vacation and the on call doctor came in to see me AFTER he was born, as no one was in the room at the moment of delivery but D... my mom had ran out to get the nurse.  Sooo, that being said... third time is a charm, right?  Dr. S had better be delivering our rainbow!
Anyhow... no ultrasound yesterday, but I do have one scheduled for Wednesday the 14th!  YAY!!! It's been a long wait, not knowing what is going on inside.  I can not wait to see our little bean on that screen and to have some photos to bring home and cherish... hang on the fridge, and perhaps even share with the rest of the world:)   Most everyone that I work with knows that we are expecting again, as well as a select few of my friends, and our families... but other than that we have kept quiet about this baby so far.  I would love to shout the news from the highest mountains and all the rooftops across the city, but Derek has asked me to wait.  To wait until we know it's safe.  SAFE?!  I told him we won't know it's safe until we can actually hold the baby in our arms... and even then, nothing in life, HELL, even life itself is never a guarantee!  Soooo I agreed to try to keep quiet at least until I am showing...which, by the way, is upon us.   I can't say that it looks like I have a baby bump...but the belly is definitely starting to poke out.   (not that I was skinny by any means to begin with) 

Weekly (almost) progression...

 9 weeks

 (please excuse the yuckies on the bathroom mirror)

 10 1/2 Weeks

12 Weeks, 6 Days.

12 weeks

In medical terms 12 weeks is supposed to be the magic number.  The 'safe' number.  The time in a pregnancy when if you made it this far... the chances of miscarriage become considerably smaller.  The time when most pregnancy books advise you that it is SAFE to tell friends and family of your new addition to your family.

In my experience... 12 weeks is when it all started to turn bad.  Up until 12 weeks I seemed to be having a 'normal' pregnancy with my son.  And then BAM!  I suddenly became 'at risk'.  The bleeding started.  Lots and lots of bleeding.  The diagnosis of a subchorionic hemmorhage... and it all started AFTER that 'safe' point.

Today, I am once again at that 'safe point'  and nervous as hell.    I continue to pray for this child, who is already so loved, cherished, desired and wanted...Please GOD, protect my child.  Keep my child healthy and safe. 

5 more days until my next OB appointment.  Fingers crossed that there are no issues between now and then, and that my mind will be set at ease with an ultrasound next week.  If this is when the hemmorhage  was detectable with Sebastion, I think it would be a good idea to know if it will happen again.